


#SolarSystem

by Rebecca



Category: Milky Way (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Astronomy, Crack, Gen, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebecca/pseuds/Rebecca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p class="body">A history of late western astronomy in tweets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#SolarSystem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cake/gifts).



> Thanks to primeideal for betaing! ♥
> 
> To get rid of the Twitter-like layout, use the "Hide Creator's Style" button at the top.

**Humanity** 13 May 1543

Not sure if @Earth revolves around @Sun or @Sun revolves around @Earth

**Mars** 13 May 1543

@Humanity lol, u serious? 

**Sun** 13 May 1543

@Humanity Everything revolves around me, naturally. Even @Earth. :) 

**Humanity** 13 May 1543

@Sun Not trusting strangers on the internet. Will figure this out on my own. :D 

**OutsideObserver** 13 May 1543

@Humanity Yeah, don't trust'em. @Sun is an egocentric dick. 

**OutsideObserver** 13 May 1543

@Humanity @Sun Or should I say ~heliocentric~ dick? ;-p 

**Humanity** 13 May 1543

@OutsideObserver Who are you? 

**OutsideObserver** 13 May 1543

@Humanity You'll have to figure that out on your own. 

**Humanity** 13 May 1543

@OutsideObserver I see what you did there. #ChallengeAccepted

* * *

**Humanity** 7 Oct 1609

OMG, using a telescope to look at the sky! It's AMAZING! 

**Saturn** 7 Oct 1609

@Humanity A what? 

**Humanity** 7 Oct 1609

@Saturn Light refraction thingy. Science! Looking at you right now :D 

**OutsideObserver** 7 Oct 1609

@Humanity Creeper. 

* * *

**Humanity** 10 Jan 1610

@Saturn Are those moons? 

**Saturn** 10 Jan 1610

@Humanity Huh? 

**Humanity** 10 Jan 1610

@Saturn You've got three moons! 

**Saturn** 10 Jan 1610

@Humanity Look again... 

**Humanity** 13 Jan 1610

@Saturn No wait, four! Four moons! 

**Saturn** 13 Jan 1610

@Humanity Getting warmer, but... Whatever, why do I care. 

**Humanity** 13 Jan 1610

@Humanity Grumpy much? But I just realised, this means that not everything revolves around @Earth. Or @Sun. Huh. 

**OutsideObserver** 13 Jan 1610

@Humanity D'oh. 

* * *

**Humanity** 11 Nov 1654

@Sun I know how old you are! 2050 years! 

**Sun** 11 Nov 1654

@Humanity ORLY? 

**Mars** 11 Nov 1654

@Humanity @Sun lol noob 

**Humanity** 11 Nov 1654

@Mars @Sun What? It's true! 

**OutsideObserver** 11 Nov 1654

@Humanity Don't tweet while drunk... 

**Humanity** 11 Nov 1654

@OutsideObserver I'm not drunk :( 

* * *

**Humanity** 23 Aug 1655

@Saturn has appendages :D 

**Saturn** 23 Aug 1655

@Humanity ??? 

**Humanity** 23 Aug 1655

@Saturn Looks like ears! 

**Saturn** 23 Aug 1655

@Humanity What a human concept... 

**Humanity** 31 Aug 1655

@Saturn Oh, it's rings. You've got rings! That's pretty cool. 

**Saturn** 31 Aug 1655

@Humanity Ah. I guess you can call them that. 

* * *

**Humanity** 3 Mar 1664

@Sun What have you done? It's cold! 

**Sun** 3 Mar 1664

@Humanity I didn't do anything... 

**Humanity** 3 Mar 1664

@Sun It's been 2 degrees colder than usual. :( 

**Sun** 3 Mar 1664

@Humanity 2 degrees? lol 

**Humanity** 3 Mar 1664

@Sun That's a lot for me. Does it have anything to do with you having less spots than usual? 

**Humanity** 21 Mar 1664

Yeah, I bet it's @Sun's missing spots #ImCold #VeryCold

**Earth** 21 Mar 1664

@Humanity Awwww 

* * *

**Humanity** 4 Apr 1665

@Jupiter You've got a big red spot on your surface. 

**Humanity** 4 Apr 1665

@Jupiter That thing must be huge! o.O 

**Jupiter** 4 Apr 1665

@Humanity Everything about me is huge ;-) 

**Humanity** 4 Apr 1665

@Jupiter I'll never be able to unsee that... :( 

* * *

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1687

Okay, I think I've got the gravitational laws figured out. 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1687

Coming to the conclusion that all planets revolve around the sun. #HeliocentricModel. 

**Sun** 15 Jul 1687

@Humanity :D 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1687

Still not sure how light works though. 

**Sun** 15 Jul 1687

@Humanity Light is just light. What's so hard to understand about it? 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1687

@Sun Well, is it particles? What are they made of? Is it waves? Waves of what? Or is it something else entirely? 

**Sun** 15 Jul 1687

@Humanity You have a tendency to over-complicate things, if you don't mind my saying so. The universe is quite simple, really. 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1687

@Sun You're having me on, aren't you? Because it looks anything but simple to me...

* * *

**Humanity** 13 Mar 1781

Wow, first I thought it was a star, and then maybe a comet, but @Uranus is a planet! How exciting! 

**Humanity** 13 Mar 1781

Hi @Uranus! Nice to meet you! :) 

**Uranus** 13 Mar 1781

@Humanity Hi! 

**Humanity** 13 Mar 1781

@Uranus You're not @OutsideObserver, are you? 

**Uranus** 13 Mar 1781

@Humanity Nope. 

* * *

**Humanity** 1 Jan 1801

Oh, that's a huge asteroid orbiting the sun. @OutsideObserver, is that you? #Ceres

**OutsideObserver** 1 Jan 1801

@Humanity Warm, but no ;-) #NiceTry

* * *

**Humanity** 5 Aug 1846

OMG @Uranus, are you drunk? 

**Humanity** 5 Aug 1846

@Humanity Err, what?! 

**Humanity** 5 Aug 1846

@Uranus Your orbit is doing really weird things. How can it do that? 

**Humanity** 5 Aug 1846

@Humanity No idea what you're talking about... 

**Humanity** 7 Aug 1846

Oooh! Maybe this means there's some huge object close to @Uranus! #GravitationalLaws ftw 

**Humanity** 23 Sep 1846

Ha, gotcha! New planet @Neptune, hi there! 

**Neptune** 23 Sep 1846

@Humanity I'm not new :-/ #LookWhosTalking

* * *

**Humanity** 18 Aug 1877

Oh, I suspected @Mars would have moons. Didn't expect them to be so tiny though #Phobos #Deimos

**Mars** 18 Aug 1877

@Humanity size isn't all that matters. at least i have two, that's one more than @Earth has. and two more than @Mercury and @Venus ... 

**Mercury** 18 Aug 1877

@Mars :( :( :( 

* * *

**Humanity** 31 Aug 1877

I might have said something stupid in the past about @Sun's age... It seems that the real age is closer to 5 billion years #JuvenileMistakes #Sorry

* * *

**Humanity** 14 Sep 1877

OMG, @Mars has canals! Does that mean there's life on Mars?! 

**Mars** 14 Sep 1877

@Humanity certainly not! 

**Humanity** 14 Sep 1877

@Mars Not sure if I can trust you. You look dry, and I bet the #Martians are dying to conquer @Earth! D: 

**Mars** 14 Sep 1877

@Humanity u trolling? 

**Humanity** 14 Sep 1877

@Mars The canals are probably built to get the last remaining water from the polar caps. And @Earth has all the water. It all makes sense! #Martians

**OutsideObserver** 14 Sep 1877

@Humanity @Mars Well this looks like fun. BRB getting popcorn 

* * *

**Humanity** 28 Dec 1896

There's something funky going on with @Neptune's orbit as well. Maybe there's another planet? 

**Humanity** 4 Feb 1906

Yeah, pretty sure it's another planet. Search for #PlanetX begins! :D 

**Humanity** 10 Feb 1906

Oh, just got an idea. #PlanetX <\-- @OutsideObserver is that you? 

**OutsideObserver** 10 Feb 1906

@Humanity Not bad, not bad. Maybe I should rename myself... 

**PlanetX** 10 Feb 1906

@Humanity There. But you still haven't found me yet ;-P 

**Humanity** 10 Feb 1906

@PlanetX Soon... :) 

**Jupiter** 10 Feb 1906

@PlanetX Aren't you a little megalomaniac? 

**PlanetX** 10 Feb 1906

@Jupiter And you're a failed star. So, shut up and let me have my fun. #YOLO

* * *

**Humanity** 4 Sep 1929

I'm searching and searching, but still no sign of @PlanetX... :( 

* * *

**Humanity** 13 Mar 1930

Ha! Found you, @PlanetX! Or should I say #Pluto? ;) 

**PlanetX** 13 Mar 1930

@Humanity Okay, okay. No sense in hiding anymore... 

**Pluto** 13 Mar 1930

@Humanity But what do I look like? 

**Humanity** 13 Mar 1930

@Pluto No idea... But I will find out! 

* * *

**Humanity** 18 Nov 1950

I'd say @Pluto is about 5,900 kilometers in diameter. 

**Pluto** 13 Mar 1930

@Humanity If you say so... 

* * *

**Humanity** 4 Oct 1957

Shooting things into space = great fun! :D :D #Sputnik

**Humanity** 23 Sept 1958

Damn, that one failed. #Luna #Soon

**Humanity** 23 Sept 1958

Oh hey, this worked. Sort of. Missed @Moon though... #Luna1 #GettingThere

* * *

**Moon** 14 Sep 1959

OMG @Earth! What did you do?! You shot something at me! What is it?! 

**Earth** 14 Sep 1959

@Moon I didn't do anything. Maybe you should ask @Humanity... 

**Humanity** 14 Sep 1959

@Moon Oh that was me! :D I wanted to find out more about you. #Luna2

**Moon** 14 Sep 1959

@Humanity Oh. Well then. Have fun, I suppose. 

**Humanity** 7 Oct 1959

@Moon I AM having fun. :) Taking pictures of your dark side right now. #Luna3

**Moon** 7 Oct 1959

@Humanity My ... dark side? 

**Humanity** 7 Oct 1959

@Moon The side facing away from @Earth, doh. 

**Moon** 7 Oct 1959

@Humanity That's not darker than the one facing @Earth... I'm starting to see the appeal of this, though. 

* * *

**Humanity** 11 Apr 1961

Humans in spaaaaaace! #Vostok1

**Mars** 11 Apr 1961

@Humanity o.O and you were afraid of *me*? 

**Humanity** 11 Apr 1961

@Mars I still don't quite trust you, just so you know 

* * *

**Humanity** 14 Jul 1965

Taking pictures of @Mars! These are the first photos from deep space of another planet! Whee! #Mariner4! 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1965

Well, looks like there's no life on @Mars after all. #Mariner4

**Mars** 15 Jul 1965

@Humanity told you so... 

**Humanity** 15 Jul 1965

Next up: @Venus! :D 

**Mercury** 15 Jul 1965

@Humanity WILL YOU SEND A SPACE PROBE TO ME TOO? I WANT A SPACE PROBE! #FOREVERALONE

**Pluto** 15 Jul 1965

Aww, poor old @Mercury's inferiority complex strikes again. 

**Mercury** 15 Jul 1965

@Pluto SHUT UP. AT LEAST I'M A PROPER PLANET. YOU OTOH SHOULDN'T BE CALLED A PLANET! 

* * *

**Humanity** 20 Jul 1969

Visiting @Moon! #Appollo

**Moon** 20 Jul 1969

@Humanity :) 

**Humanity** 20 Jul 1969

OMG this is AMAZING! @Moon feels great! And I can see the @Earth's crescent from here! #Appollo11

**Moon** 20 Jul 1969

@Humanity This is fun. Now I know how @Earth must feel all the time. 

**Earth** 20 Jul 1969

@Moon You have no idea... 

**Pluto** 20 Jul 1969

@Humanity Not bad, not bad. Baby's first steps. #SlowClap

* * *

**Humanity** 9 Apr 1976

Hmmm. @Pluto appears to be extremely reflective. Must be a lot smaller than 5,900 kilometers. 

**Mercury** 9 Apr 1976

@Humanity AS I SAID, NOT A PROPER PLANET... 

* * *

**Humanity** 5 Sep 1977

#Voyager1 and #Voyager2 will fly by all the outer planets! \o/ 

**Pluto** 5 Sep 1977

@Humanity ALL the outer planets? Try to catch ME! :-P 

**Humanity** 5 Sep 1977

@Pluto Why do you hide from me :( 

**Pluto** 5 Sep 1977

@Humanity It's more fun! :D 

* * *

**Humanity** 20 Jun 1978

Huh. @Pluto has a weird bump? 

**Humanity** 22 Jun 1978

Aaaah! @Pluto has a moon! This confirms that @Pluto must be smaller than first thought. 

* * *

**Humanity** 23 Dec 1993

Okay, getting closer to @Pluto's real diameter. 2390 kilometers! That's even smaller than little @Mercury

**Mercury** 23 Dec 1993

@Humanity HEY! I'M NOT LITTLE! :/ 

* * *

**Humanity** 6 Oct 1995

Discovered a planet outside of the #SolarSystem! 

**Pluto** 6 Oct 1995

Maybe you aren't such a special snowflake after all... 

**Humanity** 6 Oct 1995

@Pluto ... yay? 

**Mars** 6 Oct 1995

@Humanity maybe there's life out there set out to get you >;-P 

* * *

**Humanity** 4 Jul 1997

I can't visit @Mars myself yet, but I can send remotely controlled rovers. :D Vroom vroom! #Pathfinder #Sojourner

**Moon** 4 Jul 1997

@Humanity you can visit me... y u no like me anymore :( 

**Mars** 4 Jul 1997

@Humanity this is all nice, but are you going to collect your garbage one day? and you're naming my rocks after cartoon characters? srsly? 

**Saturn** 4 Jul 1997

@Mars As if you care... 

* * *

**Humanity** 13 Sep 2006

Thinking about it, @Pluto isn't a real planet. It's a dwarf planet. 

**Mercury** 13 Sep 2006

@Pluto SEE, SEE? BUT WHO'S A PROPER PLANET? ME, THAT'S WHO! 

**Pluto** 13 Sep 2006

@Humanity @Mercury Lol, I don't care. You still don't know what I look like. :) 

**Humanity** 13 Sep 2006

@Pluto Oh, haven't I told you about #NewHorizons? Will be with you soon! :D :D 

**Pluto** 13 Sep 2006

@Humanity What? 

**Mercury** 13 Sep 2006

@Humanity LOL @Pluto YOU'VE BEEN OWNED 

* * *

**Humanity** 14 Jul 2015

First photos from the dwarf planet @Pluto! Finally! 

**Humanity** 14 Jul 2015

Whoohoo! I feel like I can do anything now! I love the future! I love the universe! #BoomDeYada #BoomDeYada


End file.
